Christmas, why do I hate you?

Obviously, just based on the title, you can tell Christmas has not been any point good to me. Why, you may ask, simply put my job has gotten far worse than I have imagined due to this holiday. Remember I am one of those sad SOBs who have to go get carts so the weather is obviously an issue but for the past few weeks, it has not been that bad except for my driving around where I live. I have had to work out in blizzards and temperatures unsuitable for the human body.

As I said the last few weeks have not been that bad on the weather end of scale, now for the actual work end of it, things have gotten worse due to management making shit up as they go and playing personal bitch to corporates. Now due to this, we can no longer "pull" carts using a rope or a strap because according to corporate and their "reliable sources", that it's more dangerous to "pull" than "push". However, this is only justified in deep snow and slush which we have not had for about a month. Now you are probably thinking that your title says cart "pusher" after all right? Well, the thing is we have gotten so used to "pulling" that it has not become easy and we don't have very much pain. Well, now that we are "pushing", my lower leftside back has been in pain and I have a limp in my left leg, thanks Wal Mart.

However since I can't push for shit due to my muscles not being use to it, I have to abuse the cart machine which only is helpful when you have someone with you (which somehow our assistant manager has somehow overrided that rule so we can only have one person using it) and or when you have someone covering you on the other side of the store (which is very unlikely due to management not proof reading the schedules or changing it so there can be more than one person on that shift which is very bad for Christmas time). Since management is so concerned about our safety, they don't listen to us to have the back area salted or plowed so we can get the batteries to the battery cage or get us the cardboard needed to stack said batteries or help find our straps to actually somehow "push" the carts safely, nice job guys, I am really impressed to have you guys in charge of us. We might as well have Janeway or Archer in charge of the place, they'll eventually find a suitable way of killing us. "To good for them, I say"

Well, and the response for any call of help when needed is usually followed by an ignored raised eyes technique and then of course, us being Wal Mart's bitch, we have to answer everyone else's call for help and save their asses and cover them which is ironic considering that somehow we are supposed to know how to do that job and so on. Now on the more degrading end of the spectrum, they want us to pretty much wear burger king hats except their elf hats and our new name tag add on is "Gift Giver", why don't they just go out and say it that we are their slaves. However, thankfully due to the weather, I don't have to wear such a stupid thing since it's been raining and windy the past week so thank you Mother Nature. It would not be so bad if it was an actual Christmas hat, at least it would keep our head warm not soaking and help give us colds or pointless chewouts for sending us out there with it and wondering how they got destroyed.

Oddly, I think the customers have been decent to us despite the heavy downpour of them everyday to the point we have to practically use every inch of adrenaline just to make through the day. Hell, they agreed that playing Christmas music for almost 3 months is absurd and really annoying. I can't wait to find the player that is playing them on the speaker and smashing it with my handy baseball bat and then taking out my PSP to play Still Alive brought to you by the love of Glados, who would be a more kind torturer than our management. We will always have portals...

Now on the personal end of the scale, I don't seem to be learning many lessons as well as I should, however, I have gotten better at it alittle considering that my co worker who's also my best friend has a girlfriend and well, yeah, I naturally fall for her like a dope who sadly has had no companionship in ever. However, after a week of thinking about it, I gave up on her which breaks my record of going from 5 years to 2 years to 1 week doting on a girl who is impossible to grasp because I tend to like impossible and I am stupid that way. So my perfect strike out record is still perfect sadly.

Now to the youtube end of the scale, I will be delaying Ico till April where they will be releasing an Ico / Shadow of the Colossus compilation for the PS3. I have been working on P4 and I need to commentate over MMX4 and do another recording session of Ace Combat 4 and grind more in Scott Pilgrim Vs The Video Game. So yeah, sorry things have been slow just not in it lately. Then again I did proceed to piss off my best friend last week unintentionally via pestering him about P4 (really I was in conversational mood and was merely curious since I did not ask him in two weeks) which oddly enough that same week another good friend of mine was playing and stomped the hell out of that game, strange how that works. At this rate, I just wonder what I will do next to make things worse or something like that. Only time will tell at this point which I am afraid of. Well enough of my bitching about my shitty time at work and everything else in general. I really do hope things will get better otherwise I may be visited by the three ghosts of Christmas or I may end up stealing Christmas just to spite everyone whichever is first.

A Mobius Script That Has To End

For the past three to five months, I noted a change in a friend that I care very much so for. This change worried me and scared me since my experience with these kinda things is usually those who change leave me behind and well, you can guess the rest. This change was very minor however, it seemed far out of place considering how long I known her.

I was determined to figure out what caused it to the point of blind obsession due to how much I cared for her and how I didn't want to be left behind or anything like that. She, I felt, was one of the few people that understood me for who I am. This obsession led to all too common negative emotions and built up like the shadow that follows my every move and thought and engulfing me in this despair and rage. Soon I was revealed the answer that was staring me in the face like a snake and it bit. It bit harder than anything I had felt in my life and it consumed me with the venom it had. I began to write my feelings here but I stopped in the end because I... just could not do it, I realize how selfish I was being and could not handle it.

Soon I did not realize that she seen what little I wrote. She left a hint of this in her own way and deafening silence was left for me to think of when to confront her. Every day I dreaded confronting her until eventually I was given a push in the right direction. I admitted my feelings and how much of a coward I really am for what I did. All I wanted was things to go back to the way they were though really I just made it nearly impossible. The truly painful thing about this is I did this once before to a friend I really cared about and hurt them as well.

It made me realize how often I had been repeating my mistakes for some time and how it has held me back and lately, making me very indecisive and foolish in my life as it has been if you can call it a life. She has forgiven me for what I had done though however, I have not forgiven myself for being this foolish so called man who can never seem to move on nor truly learn from his mistakes. However, to some degree, you can call it courage to admit to yourself what you truly are. For the simple reason alone, no one is perfect we all do these things that makes us question who we truly are or who we are afraid to become. Logic and rationality don't go hand in hand with emotions nor the impulses that come with the species.

I need to face myself again and figure out how I can get out of this loop that I have made and finally move on with my life without having these things happening again and again and holding me back till there is no more left of me. I can't however face these battles on my own anymore since I have grown dependent on others. Though maybe out there I will find someone who will give me the willpower needed to win these battles but right now I will hold off until then.

*sigh* I can breathe easier now that I let that out. This will help me move on just alittle bit more every inch I can make.

Stuck in a rut... No surprises here

Well, as the title indicates I am stuck on what to do... Nah! I am just messing with all two people reading this. Really, I am, it has to do with what I want to record next and well, I am at a loss to be honest. Well, other than uploading the rest of the Yukiko Arc of Persona 4, I am tossing up which games I should be doing or what I want to do. Well, the games I should be doing are Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy IX, Ico (which I really want to do), and Shadow Hearts 2. I'll admit I am being lazy lately mostly because I am being hesitant about it, yeah, recording jitters and dilly-dally-shilly-shally. The problem really is I want to do more than LPs but the problem is I keep looking at some ideas while they look good, then comes trying it and just thinking it's just not good enough. The other problem is also I keep thinking how stupid I am for starting so many RPG LPs and playthroughs. So mostly, I end up playing hop scotch with such long projects and it drives me crazy and causes this annoyance.

Now on the otherhand, the stuff I want to do is Chrono Trigger (I know, the irony here but Chrono is alot easier to do less planning and very few stopping points), a Metroid title (I don't care if I finish or which game it is), Mega Man X8 / 10 (Mostly because X8 is fun and I just want 10 out of the way and it's only a pain to record and edit the Wily Stages due to no saves in between), and something else I can't think of but it will probably pop in my brainmeats that contain little to no constructive thought whatsoever, hell, that hasn't happened for years since high school.

Oh yeah, speaking of school, my plans for college have delayed again due to no vacancy, oh joy, now I get to stay at Wal Mart another 3-4 months during the worst fucking season to come, Christmas. My spirit for the holidays really dies for all the greedy selfish fucks I have to deal with along with their damn children who are worse than terrorists and about as good on the ears as someone constantly singing in soprano and slowly driving an ice pick directly into your eardrum. I mean if it's going to be bad at a normal Wal Mart, I imagine the Super Center being superdy duper. It just scares me to think I may end up getting trampled (or ran over) by a bunch of people so guilted into their greed and their own selfish reasons they miss the point completely when it comes to Christmas. I mean seriously, folks, I ask this, shop early now save yourself, me, and everyone else the migraine we will have to endure the rest of the holidays.

The only thing I look forward during those days is sitting next to the fireplace with my family which is what Christmas is really about not that shit above. Oddly, this comes from a guy who doesn't believe in god, here's the thing, brought up with it, can't really break the habit. Just one of those things, I have the values people, just not the belief in the almighty (which is on a personal level which I have revealed to few), simple as that. Really, if you believe I am bad person for that, well, if god is going to judge me on anything, it's my character not how my belief in it.
To be honest, I just want to live a nice simple life nothing more than less which I rather use my own beliefs and will to get through and maybe some help from those physically close to me. Most will tell you I am fairly cool cat but when you start shoving your religion on me, then I just say no or until eventually I just walk away. I swear these people act like they are so blessed and almost consider anyone else who thinks otherwise like roadkill. In the words of my dad "If the bear is attacking me, help the bear" just let me be by making my own mistakes and learning from them. Nothing wrong with that because that is completely human to do.

Anyways, sorry for the long religious rhetoric just something that's been on my mind. Anyways, do you guys want me to do what I should do or I want to do for Let's Plays and stuff? I could use alittle advice here. Oh yeah, I got to get a new windshield for my car this week though sometime in the month I will be getting a Wii though I want to get some PS3 titles out of the way. Oh yeah, Boh, hang in there, man, enjoy your time off but can you at least respond back please? I need to talk to you about something that may interest you alot.

My thoughts on Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

Well, I like some heard many great things from people on this film and I thought I would share my thoughts on it since this is more than just for games (note: I will be talking about the game too).
I have been reading the manga (it has a similar style and uses a similar book type format thingy). Well, I thought the acting was pretty good considering though for me the actor that didn't quite sell it was Ramona (though she did make up for this a few times), I felt her expressions were kinda awkward and she seem to keep the same doe eyed expression most of the time.

Though I got to admit out of the evil exs I liked acting wise, I had to give credit to the actors for the roles of Matt (for being over the top, MR. PILGRIM!, serious if they have a Phoenix Wright movie, I want him in it, lol), LUCAS, and Todd (he was a super saiyan except Vegan). Lucas for some reason kept making me think of Hugh Jackman, lol, (HUGH JACKMAN AWAY!). While most people attack Michael Ceras performance of Scott Pilgrim's character, I found it was pretty dead on considering that he is fairly tough character to do.

Gideon despite being a villain, he seemed rather downplayed considering he was behind everything though for some reason I kept thinking of Aizen from Bleach being the same way which was actually effective. He did everything from setting Scott and Ramona up, sending the exs, making him split with Ramona and some way Knives, making his band sell out, and making him fight himself in more ways than one in order to destroy Scott's life and soul. Though his second life performance was more strong and showed the possessive evil manipulative bastard we wanted him to be so hey, even he needed the second life, lol.

Though I felt the story was slightly rushed however, we got to remember they had to condense this to a 2 hour movie and some developments of the characters were rushed understandably changed like Lucas being a giant asshole where in the comic/manga, he's alittle more upfront and down to earth and when he chucks Scott, he actually offers him a little break before they fight again. However, I think they changed it so it would be more climatic and keep the action though I wonder why they mirrored the stunt double fight scene when Scott fought G's goons. I felt the fights were alittle too fast for me but at the same time were very interesting as each one ended with more than just Scott curbstomping each ex.

Though the camera work while fast at the time was effective and mirrored the comic well and I liked the presentation overall. However, another thing that may sell you is the music and sound usage, like having Neil playing a game that perfectly fit what was going on every time Scott and the band had a meeting and having a remix of the mysterious sounding theme when going into a fairy cave in Zelda at Scott meeting Ramona through the hallway of lockers. I enjoyed the music alot and the funny narration that took place.

The visual effects were pretty amazing I do say and how they implemented a comic book onomatopoeia sound effects and used simple text and basic transitions that some comic books did well. Though I felt they were fastly implemented and sometimes hard to catch up with when they were moving on to the next scene. Though if you read the comic, it's fairly similar to what it does it.

Overall, despite some nitpicking, I say it's a good film overall though not as awesome as some claim it to be or how terrible it is. I liked the presentation (a few rough spots), the acting (a few rough spots), the music and sound were awesome. Overall, I say it's a watch especially if you are a gamer. I will not go over the comic till I finished with it (I only have two volumes, I'll get the rest in time). The game, same deal there since I have not finished it yet, but I will add it too this blog as well though I have enjoyed it quite abit as you'll see.

Now to the game... The game follows a mixture of various classic beat him ups from days of old and is it executed well? Yes, without a doubt despite the fact, there is no online co-op (seriously, Ubi Soft make a patch and we will be quite happy, you did it with Re: Shelled you can do it with this too and hell we will shell a few dollars to do it). Everything is a reference to something to how Scott leaves a level to the very end of the game and you can't help but grin. This game is pretty much what happens when a bunch of gamers get together and take notes from their favorite games and wonder what game they can make from it, rumor is this is how the game was created.

The music even does this very well, in fact, the music is very freaking good as a result. The gameplay is very solid with maybe the only problem being grinding for cash to boost your stats to max because if you don't boost stats, you won't make it past Level 3 (trust me I tried). The difficulty, really isn't much to say, it starts out hard at first (in fact it is), but as you boost stats to max, the game become just a hair weaker than average difficulty. Really, it then just comes down to crowd control which with the right moves becomes just second nature.

For some people the presentation maybe out of place for them but note this was made intentionally that way to appeal more to this generation of gamers who lived in those days. It seems as if alot of love was put into it and it shows. Overall, this is a must buy for any gamer who started games from that generation and those who haven't, buy it anyway, you'll thank me later.

My thoughts on Mega Man 10

Well, I tried to come into this game with a positive outlook, I tried, I tried so frelling hard but this game hit alot of wrong notes for me. I just felt it was wrong. Well, the game seems more difficult due to the crappy special weapons. The stages seemed to be designed for easy mode first then Capcom just took out the stuff for it when really they should of made a whole new stage design set up for this so it could be more normal instead of this lazy rom hack bullcrap. The controls seem slightly offish in this one unlike 9, because it seems like more than a few times the jump was off and I got killed numerous times due to this slight error. Speaking of which, this game seems to rely more on pixel perfect jumps than 9 did and really annoying is when they put those explosive parachute enemies across these jumps and some of it's more annoying gimmicks.

This game does try to be just as nostalgic as 9 and it tries but I feel really this game just ends up living in 9's shadow due to the lame robot masters, the theme of the game, and the appeal for newer fans to get into this. The music as I said feels like it has multiple personality syndrome due to all the MM composers they shoved in here though there were a few stand out themes here and there but they seemed to all have the same feel oddly of melancholy. This is like comparing the Zordon Era of Power Rangers to say Lost Galaxy, where they all had music themes that represented the story changes. 9 is like we are classic and higher than you can imagine while 10 is like we are just there. I really feel they were trying to I guess show maybe a turn in the series while not showing any hint of doing so considering they half assed the ending to show no indication of connection it to the seriousness of the X series. This game just gives alot of mixed feelings and it doesn't go anywhere with them which is a shame really.

I feel this is a good game, but do I like it, hell no. It hit too many wrong buttons with me and made me hit my head against the floor just because how stupid hard the levels got and how hard the Robot Masters were artificially since most of the weapons didn't seem well tested. However, oddly I didn't mind the Wily Stages so much, because they seemed natural for their difficulty and decently thought out. Though I ask Capcom one of two things, either put much more effort and balance the game with Mega Man 11 (and bridge gap between Original and X please) or work on a Mega Man X9 in 16 Bit Style? I would prefer the latter to be honest. If you ask me, just get 9 and if you like it, get this, it may appeal you, it may not, but really it's in the end of the beholder really.

Where did all these damn bugs come from?

Yeah, one thing I generally hate about summer is the fact the bugs just start coming out of the woodwork literally. By about mid July around here, the moths start coming out and trust me trying to watch a video at night on a laptop becomes an annoying test of patience as the moth keep trying everything they can to get the "light". Though for me, it's disturbing when I get to work and anywhere there was light at, you just see hundreds of dead moths on the ground. Now I see ants running all over the damn house, making it so I can't sit on the floor anymore without committing several acts of ant genocide which I should note the Ant Courts have about more enough charges on me to make the deficit for the economy look small.

Anywho, I am still playing Persona 3 Portable, I just beat Strength and Fortune rather well, let's say, it was a mix of lucky to outright stomping, I was scared when Fortune landed on the Enraged part of his wheel only for it to backfire and let me do more damage and get more criticals until I got control back where I zapped it back with another Mind Charged Tarakaja Ziodyne along with the Elec Boost Bracer thing I had on using Dionysus. Anywho, I also saved Shinji though the story really makes it still sound like he is dead which was kind've lazy on Atlus's part then again retelling and revoicing it for the FeMC takes dedication too. Though I am actually doing very well on Social Links scale (I think I have finished 4 or 5) and I have Max out one of my stats, yay me, I am now the sexiest and most badass girl in Iwatodai with the mind of a man behind it all, lol. Yeah, Atlus, those options in conversations seem to lean towards that oddly, but okay, I dig it.

Recently got Mega Man 10 and well it just feels weird and stupidly difficult, I'll give my complete thoughts later. Though I trying to decide what to get with the rest of my $20 on PSN which is confounding my brain considering how many choices there were. Though I am going to be trying some demos to see if there is anything interesting. And yes, I played Mega Man X7 and oddly I have defeated all but one maverick but still this game is garbage, save yourself the $5 get yourself X8 instead or any DL game on any preferable console. Or hell, download the soundtrack and you'll be happy with that instead.

I am considering getting a Wii but considering I should save money for college and stuff, I am not sure. Though if all goes well, I will be heading to college and all is right with the world and I warn I will not available as much as I was before since that screwed me over majorly last time. I will be focusing on school work and when I get time let loose the videos of war! So that's my spiel once again, see ya guys later!

Incompetency at it's finest.

Lately, the past week or so, I have been feeling drained at work and it's affecting my safety lately. After my lunch, I got really woozy to the point standing straight was a chore and I don't know what came over me to be honest. It took about 15-20 minutes to wear off but damn I was out of it. Now remember in the last blog relating to this where I talked about a cartpusher who was completely utterly useless... He went up in a whole new level... WHAT THE HELL?!?! I HAVE A HEADACHE!!! JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!

For one thing, he doesn't ever watch where he is pulling so customers, GET TO THE CHOPPA! He almost ran over a kid with his cartpulling (I don't know how you do that), he almost ran over a few customers and hit a few cars with the cart machine and his control with the damn thing is horrible (he is slow too), he almost got a few of his own stockman (us) hurt on a few separate occasions, he can't even stack batteries correctly (someone needs Mega-Bloks) so we have to fix all these problems he makes for us like NOT having him near the cart machine and giving the radio to someone slightly more competent. Another thing he doesn't know when to shut up because he just rambles on and on and he is such an idiot. For example, he asked the question "Why did they turn the Wii black?" I told him the Rule of Cool (TV Trope, I know) and Nintendo likes recoloring their systems. He didn't get it at all because he said it was pointless and stupid... HE COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT!!! The reason they did it is because of said above and whenever Nintendo has done this, they turn in a fairly sizable profit *points at Gameboy being the earliest example and very successful*. It's pretty bad when I who was not feeling all that well at all and in the head as well, can outwork him and still manage to keep up a decent pace and be safe, you know maybe quitting might be a good idea. If there is a god, please make him stop at his botching at probably one of the simplest jobs (though quite tough) in the world, I am begging this before I end up locking him in the battery cage the minute I start work or end up breaking my fist on his head or something stupid that could cost me my job, I just know he's going to push it. As if I didn't hate my job enough... Sheesh! I need some bleach or a gun to clean my brainmeats.

Well, I hope you all have been enjoying my Mega Man 9 LP and when I get time, I'll be working on Gundam Battle Assault 2 finally and hopefully finishing the game so I can move on to another project more fun, I know I always say but it's the truth.